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Lack of affection from your partner can cause some disturbance to physical and mental health. The constant inflow of texts and appreciation from your girl shows how much you are loved and cherished and when it comes to a halt, you might wonder; What to do? What has changed? Or have you lost your charm?
A romantic relationship can lose its groove at any point, but hearing I love you without any backing of affection can be pretty confusing. Consequently, partners may feel emotionally disconnected, lose self-confidence, and have communication issues. Women or rather girls specifically differ from guys in their display of affection.
While it can be normal for physical affection and intimacy to vary among people who have different boundaries and personalities. Affection in a relationship is quite important in maintaining a healthy relationship.
However, along with life’s stressors, there might often be nothing to worry about, but if your girl won’t even give you the time of the day but keeps chanting the ”I love you” mantra, there might be a cause for alarm. But, take a deep breath and scroll down to find out what can be done.
Reasons Why She is Showing No Affection
Lack of affection can cause serious damage to your relationship especially if you are a romantic partner, the chances of your relationship surviving long-term might start to look slim. You can start to feel unloved, lonely, ignored, and unimportant. Unfortunately, this can lead to resentment for both partners.
Before you decide what you are going to do about the lack of affection from your girl, you have to first understand why she is not showing any affection.
1. She is Bored
After the initial honeymoon phase of the relationship wears off, the perfect might seem less interesting which brings about the chance of being bored. Although getting bored in a relationship is common with guys, it’s not uncommon with girls either.
This happens when there is nothing new to discover and also an overwhelming relationship can get boring fast.
2. Difficulty With Vulnerability
Another very valid and common reason your girl is not showing any affection but telling you she loves you is that she is not feeling confident enough and is not good at initiating affection. Demonstrating affection takes courage and being vulnerable therefore she might not be willing to demonstrate affection.
3. Not Enough to Make Efforts
In this case, your girl loves you and there just isn’t enough time to make all the efforts you wanted. Your girlfriend might have just stopped giving you reminders about certain things but never hesitate to tell you she loves you and does spend time with you when she can.
4. She is Career Oriented
It can be that your girlfriend is more career oriented and it seems not to be enough reason not to show affection, but this is very common. Also, personalities and boundaries tend to differ so while you can be career focused and still show attention, this might not be the case with her.
If the pressure of paying bills has suddenly kicked in and proving her worth has kicked in as well as you might want to let her know you have her back in this case rather than complain about lack of affection provided this is the reason for lack of affection.
5. She is Closed Off to Intimacy
The show of affection is very intimate for most people and when your girl is feeling fearful or closed off to intimacy due to experience then they will avoid affection altogether. People can often put up an emotional wall or avoid being vulnerable with you for some reason.
So, it can be difficult for your girl to show affection to you not because she does not want to but because it is difficult and uncomfortable to do so.
6. You Don’t Appreciate Her
Another reason your girl is not showing any affection is that she was not appreciated for showing any in the past. Your girlfriend might just be giving you a taste of your own medicine or likely is waiting for you to confront her about it. The chances are high that she is withholding affection as a result of not being appreciated.
She Loves Me But Shows No Affection: What to Do?
You have to understand that people have basic boundaries when it comes to showing affection. We must understand our partner’s comfort level but it can be entirely off-putting to have confirmation that your girl loves you but she does not show any affection towards you.
Lack of affection might have nothing to o with the health of your relationship since you are sure she loves you but below are things you can do to get some affection and understand her better.
1. Give Her A Surprise
Experts have discovered that an unexpected good surprise from one’s partner can add some spark to the relationship. So, if your girl seems off then one thing you can do is to pull off a surprise and make her feel special.
Simply showing up at her place or perhaps sending her a video expressing your feelings can cheer her up. Ensure that she enjoys whatever surprise you pull off (Girls are great at faking it), and genuinely make sure it’s about her and not you.
2. Recreate Memories
If your relationship has been going on for a while then it might be time to recreate some memories. Dull moments are sure going to occur in your relationship and one way girls deal with this is to shut off their affection but you can dispel the dullness and let happiness blossoms by creating some memories using a particular episode she loved
3. Be Consistent in Treating Her
You do not want to leave her confused at this period so ensure you are consistent in your show of affection. Your girl not showing affection can be a temporary behavioral change but if you change yourself during this period, mending the relationship might only become more difficult.
4. Get Cozy With Her
Getting cozy is one of the ways you can score some points with her. Do not ignore her feelings in this regard but some cuddling and nice alone time has always been discovered to get girls attached. So, perhaps let her guide you, tell you what you want and you can give her the best time of her life!
5. Stop Bringing It Up But Communicate Your Feelings
While we do understand that it can be frustrating to not get any affection from your girl, talking about it occasionally will not change anything. Of course, you want your partner to give you some affection, kissing and all but talking about it might work at first but not in the long term and it might start to come across as plain annoying.
Begging for affection seems terrible so you might want to stop listening to people who tell you to keep complaining about it. Perhaps they are not big on affection so instead of being repetitive about it, ask how they feel and tell them how it makes you feel.
As her boyfriend, it’s okay to have a heart-to-heart talk with her about how her lack of affection makes you feel. She might just be preoccupied and did not notice she has not been giving you attention.
6. Focus on What You Can Control
Frankly, you can’t control how your partner acts so when she says she loves you but does not show affection no matter what you do or say then you might consider focusing on your happiness. Rather than asking your girl to change, support them and focus on being a loving, kind, and energy-filled person instead.
By focusing on your happiness and self-care, you will be more attractive and might eventually start to see the affection flow. Fretting about lack of affection will only make you controlling and lonely so focus on what you can control.
Wrapping Up
Although the lack of affection may not be from lack of love or even an indication that your relationship is healthy. There are many delightful ways to please a girl but do not expect your girl to show you affection relentlessly.
We understand that showing affection is important to you, but this might not be the same with your girl so do ask why this is so, and if the relationship has been about you, it’s time to turn the tables.
However, if you are so sure she loves you then have patience, refresh your relationship, communicate your feelings and time will bring the answers to you.
