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How do you handle a relationship where your girlfriend goes to the bar without you? Whilst some girls like being with their partner constantly, some would enjoy the break which is a chance to go to places where they can have fun without having their partner in contact view.
One of the most important relationship rules is to have boundaries so is she crossing yours by going to a bar alone or are you crossing hers? Know that you are not being unreasonable if you do not want your girlfriend to go to a bar without you but it can also mean you don’t trust her and there are reasons behind this.
Clubs and bars are not a place for someone who is in a relationship. However, a little partying from time to time for someone in a relationship is okay, it can be entertaining provided it is managed in moderation.
We often don’t admit it but clubs and bars are places where you find nightstands and occasional partners so they are not exactly ideal for someone in a committed relationship. So, read on to learn what to do when your girlfriend frequents the bar without you.
Is it Normal For my Girlfriend to go to Bars Without Me?
Yes, it’s very normal, and if this makes you uncomfortable, you should discuss it with her and you two can work towards adjusting. This is often where trust comes in, if your girlfriend occasionally hangs out with her girlfriend at the party, this is completely normal and you have to trust her except if this happens frequently then it might be concerning.
How much partying is acceptable in a relationship depends on the couple in question, if you both enjoy going to the bar or parties then it’s cool but if one partner is more enthusiastic about this party life then there are bound to be issues.
Your girlfriend going to a bar without you does not mean she does not care about the relationship, in most cases, it means that you trust each other enough to make your own decisions and respect each other’s independence as well.
It becomes not okay when your girlfriend regularly skips plans to go to the bar or their grade or work performance happens to degrade. If you truly trust her, let her go out but if you don’t, you should consider exploring why and also consider breaking up.
My Girlfriend Goes to The Bar Without Me – What to Do
Going to the bar or clubbing is a great way to meet new people and while going with your partner is a nice way to strengthen your relationship, going without you does not mean she does not care about you either.
Some enjoy dancing, music, and socializing with friends whether it’s for fun, to express themselves, or just to get out of the house.
Understandably, you are concerned about your girlfriend going to the bar without you, but frankly, if you have a strong relationship and trust, it shouldn’t be much of an issue except you need her to cut back on how often she goes to the bar or parties.
1. Find A Quiet Place to Talk
Starting the conversation with your girlfriend about her going to the bar constantly can be quite challenging. So, I highly recommend that you find a quiet place to relax and talk maybe after dinner or you enjoy a weekend hike together and talk about it.
Ensure that no distractions or commitments are standing in the way of having a conversation calmly, she should be willing to engage with you and let you know why she enjoys going to the bar without you.
2. Express Your Concern
If it bothers you that she goes to the bar without you rather than let this put a strain on your relationship, express your concerns openly and honestly without accusation or judgment. Bringing up this issue with a girl is never easy, but this should be confronted especially if it’s putting a strain on your relationship.
3. Be Understanding
You have to be understanding no matter what her reasons for going to the bar without you are. Be first and foremost open-minded and understanding. Frankly, there shouldn’t be restrictions on her movement so explain that you understand that bars and partying can be compelling. Respond politely and calmly even if you don’t like what she says.
4. Propose Solutions
Blaming each other is not going to accomplish anything. So, come prepared with some ideas that can help settle the whole issue. You can propose things like both having date nights and including bars once in a while. Make sure there is a limit on how often you frequent bars, they are not exactly ideal places for couples so let her know the potential cons of bar hangouts.
It’s important to know that your girlfriend is her person. She might not like the ideas you propose so let her offer hers too. Do not try to force or manipulate her into doing your will. She is entitled to live her own life and can’t be forced to change.
Final Thoughts
After discussing your concerns, offering solutions, and encouraging change, but she still prefers going to bars with friends and not you, it might be time to walk away.
Go ahead and communicate how this makes you feel and make her understand the potential risks involved in this as well. If nothing changes, you may need to decide whether to stay in the relationship or not. Only you can make this decision for yourself, note that your partner is entitled to her own decisions as well.
